it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
