He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
