Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
