we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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