Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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