Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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