How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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