So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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