i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think your dad took our porno
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
