Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize