i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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