Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's never too late to be topless.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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