its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
