i would punch a child for taco bell
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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