Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
