I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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