I am puke
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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