Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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