I hate your face
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
