I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
