when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
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MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
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We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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