she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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