we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
