I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
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It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
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DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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