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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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