I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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