I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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