i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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