he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
