??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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