So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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