I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
