Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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