shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
