her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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