At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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