yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯