i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.