So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.