So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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