Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
