I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
