and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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