i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important