Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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