Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i turned job hunting into a drinking game..

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  (651): i turned job hunting into a drinking game.. http://tfl.nu/xroj
  Replies (20) Good night (5802) Bad night (720)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.

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  (970): Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends. http://tfl.nu/xm5k
  Replies (59) Good night (5613) Bad night (1967)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.

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  (229): New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents. http://tfl.nu/bhqx
  Replies (21) Good night (6624) Bad night (802)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song

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  (740): Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song http://tfl.nu/pqc4
  Replies (20) Good night (4050) Bad night (1136)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.

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  (202): My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about. (202): Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ. http://tfl.nu/wtju
  Replies (7) Good night (3090) Bad night (866)
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  (530): View more from California

  He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"

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  (530): He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?" http://tfl.nu/zkkw
  Replies (6) Good night (1906) Bad night (2687)
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  (107): View more from

  That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.

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  (107): That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog. http://tfl.nu/02iq
  Replies (8) Good night (1263) Bad night (963)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.

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  (314): I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use. http://tfl.nu/hohz
  Replies (2) Good night (1199) Bad night (714)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me

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  (574): It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me http://tfl.nu/pd5w
  Replies (8) Good night (1472) Bad night (922)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent

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  (623): this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent http://tfl.nu/zc3d
  Replies (6) Good night (431) Bad night (932)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party

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  (250): your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party http://tfl.nu/pnv8
  Replies (2) Good night (925) Bad night (366)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer

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  (306): All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer http://tfl.nu/jur4
  Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (459)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.

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  (913): She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor. http://tfl.nu/4jux
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (216)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.

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  (860): I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum. http://tfl.nu/q7aq
  Replies (0) Good night (508) Bad night (268)
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  (488): View more from

  I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover

  (441): View more from Bermuda-Carib

  Omg I can't even...

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  (488): I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover (441): Omg I can't even... http://tfl.nu/8sa0
  Replies (1) Good night (295) Bad night (575)

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