Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.

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  (703): While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens. http://tfl.nu/2i4o
  Replies (19) Good night (3357) Bad night (602)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank

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  (602): I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank http://tfl.nu/1dw8
  Replies (8) Good night (5915) Bad night (483)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.

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  (440): i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends. http://tfl.nu/xfyh
  Replies (12) Good night (851) Bad night (4065)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu

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  (631): You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu http://tfl.nu/9ul0
  Replies (14) Good night (2388) Bad night (4028)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.

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  (630): I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better. http://tfl.nu/ly4a
  Replies (23) Good night (5487) Bad night (647)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.

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  (386): you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/n48i
  Replies (18) Good night (947) Bad night (4277)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.

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  (248): Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her. http://tfl.nu/h3i8
  Replies (8) Good night (2588) Bad night (973)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?

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  (847): he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel? http://tfl.nu/aqse
  Replies (23) Good night (1182) Bad night (8743)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters

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  (918): There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters http://tfl.nu/8485
  Replies (83) Good night (11413) Bad night (1957)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there

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  (570): I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there http://tfl.nu/1aoc
  Replies (5) Good night (2109) Bad night (616)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.

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  (317): I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one. http://tfl.nu/jdn1
  Replies (6) Good night (1474) Bad night (697)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.

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  (337): Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE. http://tfl.nu/9lhc
  Replies (7) Good night (2852) Bad night (614)
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  (310): View more from California

  Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.

  (310): View more from California

  It's the best of both worlds

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  (310): Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor. (310): It's the best of both worlds http://tfl.nu/n8mo
  Replies (6) Good night (752) Bad night (461)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.

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  (317): That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal. http://tfl.nu/kp6j
  Replies (0) Good night (663) Bad night (325)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.

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  (412): Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling. http://tfl.nu/npes
  Replies (11) Good night (964) Bad night (365)

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