Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.