This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
