of course. lets lasso hookers.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
