So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
