i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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