just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
