I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize