1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
