BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
