Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
