arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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