dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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