so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
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I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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