so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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