If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
