Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!