Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
